I was asked shortly
before writing this what my favorite sub-genre of horror was. I was
surprised to realize I didn’t have a prepared answer. It wasn’t
a question I’d thought about much. However, I was able to answer
quite easily: Horror-Comedy. I think that’s why I’ve been
looking forward to this episode as I've gone back through this show.
It is one of the most absurd stories I’ve ever seen, but somehow
manages to remain quite creepy.
According to this
episode, George Washington took up cannibalism while at Valley Forge,
and converted many other Founding Fathers to his way of thinking. He
was known for feasting on the flesh of virgin girls, and his cult
apparently ate both Thomas Jefferson, and the entire First
Continental Congress. The Washingtonians continue to this day,
living in a small town in Virginia filled with people who are
obviously crazy. Maybe most people wouldn’t suspect “cannibals,”
but their unhealthy interest in the age of young girls would likely
land the entire town on a few watch lists if this episode occurred in
anything resembling reality.
Mike Franks
(Jonathon Schaech), along with his wife and daughter (Venus Terzo and
Julia Tortolano), returns to the home of his late grandparents for
his grandmother’s funeral, and makes a shocking discovery going
through the effects: A human-bone fork and a letter written by “G.W”
stating his intention to eat the children of the nation.
Mike informs his
Grandmother's friend Samuel Madison (Myron Natwick) of the letter,
and Samuel promptly flips out, demanding the letter. The
Washingtonians begin assaulting his family with horses, hatchets,
swords, and muskets, while dressed in colonial regalia, in an attempt
to get the letter. While they do wait until nightfall, they make
absolutely no other attempt at stealth.
The satire is
obvious: Tradition and patriotism are fundamentally irrational
motivations. The Washingtonians speak of cannibalism as a point of
pride, simply because it’s part of their heritage. We even get a
history professor (Saul Rubinek) to lecture Mike on how history is
written to justify the beliefs of the society, with the truth being
an afterthought.
The fact that the
episode is still so utterly terrifying is a tribute to Peter Medak’s
talent as a director. The Washingtonians are so utterly demented
that you’re afraid even as you laugh. Maybe I don’t think that
they could operate in secret for a quarter millennium, but seeing a
family of three surrounded by these blood-covered maniacs is still
chilling.
Tortolano really
steals the show, however. She shows a degree of competency rarely
seen in actors so young. Furthermore, her characterization is fairly
unique: she has debilitating fear of everything, to the point of
being unable to walk to the other end of the house alone without
panic. This is a character trait that’s sometimes used in male
characters, but rarely in females. I suspect this is because female
vulnerability is generally seen as a positive trait, so this is an
interesting play on gender roles. She never overcomes her fear, but
I don’t find that to be a problem. It’s not easy to overcome
your fears just as sociopaths are trying to eat you.
I’d say this is,
without a question, my favorite MoH episode. It’s
hilarious, terrifying, witty, well directed, well-written, and
well-acted. Also, props to the Washingtonian who pulled a musket on
SWAT Team members armed with machine guns and bullet-proof vests, for
sheer chutzpah.
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