Monday, September 19, 2016

Masters of Horror: Episode 25 The Washingtonians

I was asked shortly before writing this what my favorite sub-genre of horror was. I was surprised to realize I didn’t have a prepared answer. It wasn’t a question I’d thought about much. However, I was able to answer quite easily: Horror-Comedy. I think that’s why I’ve been looking forward to this episode as I've gone back through this show. It is one of the most absurd stories I’ve ever seen, but somehow manages to remain quite creepy.

According to this episode, George Washington took up cannibalism while at Valley Forge, and converted many other Founding Fathers to his way of thinking. He was known for feasting on the flesh of virgin girls, and his cult apparently ate both Thomas Jefferson, and the entire First Continental Congress. The Washingtonians continue to this day, living in a small town in Virginia filled with people who are obviously crazy. Maybe most people wouldn’t suspect “cannibals,” but their unhealthy interest in the age of young girls would likely land the entire town on a few watch lists if this episode occurred in anything resembling reality.

Mike Franks (Jonathon Schaech), along with his wife and daughter (Venus Terzo and Julia Tortolano), returns to the home of his late grandparents for his grandmother’s funeral, and makes a shocking discovery going through the effects: A human-bone fork and a letter written by “G.W” stating his intention to eat the children of the nation.

Mike informs his Grandmother's friend Samuel Madison (Myron Natwick) of the letter, and Samuel promptly flips out, demanding the letter. The Washingtonians begin assaulting his family with horses, hatchets, swords, and muskets, while dressed in colonial regalia, in an attempt to get the letter. While they do wait until nightfall, they make absolutely no other attempt at stealth.

The satire is obvious: Tradition and patriotism are fundamentally irrational motivations. The Washingtonians speak of cannibalism as a point of pride, simply because it’s part of their heritage. We even get a history professor (Saul Rubinek) to lecture Mike on how history is written to justify the beliefs of the society, with the truth being an afterthought.

The fact that the episode is still so utterly terrifying is a tribute to Peter Medak’s talent as a director. The Washingtonians are so utterly demented that you’re afraid even as you laugh. Maybe I don’t think that they could operate in secret for a quarter millennium, but seeing a family of three surrounded by these blood-covered maniacs is still chilling.

Tortolano really steals the show, however. She shows a degree of competency rarely seen in actors so young. Furthermore, her characterization is fairly unique: she has debilitating fear of everything, to the point of being unable to walk to the other end of the house alone without panic. This is a character trait that’s sometimes used in male characters, but rarely in females. I suspect this is because female vulnerability is generally seen as a positive trait, so this is an interesting play on gender roles. She never overcomes her fear, but I don’t find that to be a problem. It’s not easy to overcome your fears just as sociopaths are trying to eat you.

I’d say this is, without a question, my favorite MoH episode. It’s hilarious, terrifying, witty, well directed, well-written, and well-acted. Also, props to the Washingtonian who pulled a musket on SWAT Team members armed with machine guns and bullet-proof vests, for sheer chutzpah.

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