Wednesday Review: The Boy

OK, this movie is just bad. It's not simply below my expectations, and it doesn't get better as it continued. In fact, it's twist was so stupid that I wished I could rewind time to a point where I didn't know the twist. If it caused any major plot-holes I missed them just gaping at how lame the whole idea was. Even before the twist, however, there was nothing in this film I could relate to, and thus nothing I cared about or was frightened by.

The premise is that a woman named Greta, fleeing her abusive ex, goes to England to take a job as a Nanny. As it turns out the boy she was supposed to care for, Brahms, died in a fire twenty years earlier, and his parents adopted a porcelain doll to act out their roles as parents, treating him exactly as if he were their real son. The couple are planning to be away from the house for some time, and have a long list of daily rituals they expect Greta to perform with their “son,” including reading to him, playing music loudly, and making food to be thrown away.

This gives us our first problem: While Greta pays some brief lip-service to “exploiting” the old couple, once she accepts the position she makes no attempt to do the job she was being paid for. It's established that she's being paid a large salary (her sister mentions that her weekly payment is “more than I make in a month”), and has free room and board in a gigantic house. While we've all been a bit lazy when our bosses aren't looking, I simply don't relate to someone who doesn't make the slightest effort to actually earn her salary, regardless of whether or not she considers her job pointless. So, why should I feel sympathy for this woman?

Naturally, strange things start happening. Brahms moves without explanation when no one is looking, and objects are strewn around strangely. Greta begins experiencing bad dreams as well. She's told by the “grocery boy” Malcolm, who makes deliveries to the house, that Brahms was an “odd” boy. As she grows to believe that his ghost is real, she also begins to question if the ghost is really friendly.

The doll isn't really all that creepy, honestly. While the film avoids an over-use of jump scares, it forgets to put anything else especially frightening in as well. It isn't helped by the fact that the situation is completely unrelatable. I have no concept of living alone, in a giant house, taking care of a doll, and I seriously doubt that's something I will ever get the chance to experience. Unrelatable experiences can work in film, if you draw the audience in with the characters, but no one here is especially likable.

Then, the twist hits. It comes way too quickly, and instantly turns the film into a totally different type of story. It's like From Dusk Til Dawn except not a comedy, and without the skills of Robert Rodriguez.

Save your money. If you're very, very drunk the film might entertain you on DVD. I can't imagine any amount of alcohol will make it worth a movie ticket, though.