Goosebumps: Episodes 18-19 The Werewolf of Fever Swamp

If I had to name an episode of this show right off the top of my head, it probably would have been this one. The episode was aired as a special three months after A Night in Terror Tower to wrap up the season. While it’s better than most of the previous episodes, I find it somewhat amazing that Fox decided that this would work better as a finale than the truly awesome Terror Tower. Going back to my own memories, I remember thinking this episode was a big event and being really impressed. I have no idea if it was actually significant in the television landscape, though, or if it was just my nine-year-old imagination.

A boy named Grady (Brendan Fletcher) moves into Fever Swamp with his parents (Geoffrey Bowes and Maria Ricossa) and sister (Mairon Bennett). His parents are “scientists” of no specified discipline who are studying how a group of domestic deer survive being released in the swamp. First, though, they all have to be fenced up in the yard for what seems like several days to a week, presumably because deer actually roaming the swamp would be harder to film.

Grady and his sister are miserable, living in a place where they can’t even get television reception, and the only other child present is a boy named Will (Michael Barry). There’s also a creepy old Swamp Hermit (Don Francks) who apparently lost his family many years ago, and now wanders the swamp aimlessly. As Grady is forced into a friendship of convenience with Will, he begins to pick up local urban legends about werewolves. Will believes the Swamp Hermit to be one, and thinks he has halted his aging by killing people in the swamp.

Going ahead and spoiling the obvious twist: Will’s status as the werewolf makes him hard for me to classify him as a character. When he briefly regains his humanity due to an eclipse he tells Grady to run, so it’s clear he’s not malicious, but his attempts to mislead Grady about the identity of the werewolf make me uncertain of what his intentions are. He also claims that both wolfsbane and silver bullets are useless against werewolves, but this isn’t a theory we ever see tested, so I’m not sure of his motivations on that point.

To go even deeper, he makes references to “werefolk” as if werewolves are some kind of community. His claim that werewolves can stop aging as long as they kill makes me wonder how old he really is. Finally, he makes a reference to having a “yard,” but we never see his parents. However, I believe the building behind him in his introduction scene is intended to be his home, but could be part of Grady’s parents’ property. So I’m not sure if he even lives in a house or just wanders the swamp.

At the same time, a dog breaks into the family’s house, and Grady takes him in, naming him Vandal. However, after finding a dead rabbit, and some additional property damage, his parents and sister begin to suspect that Vandal is a very bad dog and plan to call the sheriff to get rid of him. Will feels that this makes it his duty to prove that there is a werewolf. And no, I don’t know why a pet killing a large rodent in the swamp is a problem.

In his effort to “prove” that the Swamp Hermit is a rabbit-killing werewolf Grady wanders out into the swamp, and ends up trapped in a net set by the Hermit, who for some reason brings Grady back to his home and...sits there eating and looking creepy. Then, when Grady tells the Hermit that his parents are coming with Elephant Rifles to save him (a joke, as the family had earlier been established as pacifists), the Hermit picks up his own gun and howls at the moon. My best guess is he was trying to attract the real werewolf, but I have no idea why kidnapping Grady was a part of his plan. Grady gets away while he’s howling, and runs back home, resetting the entire story to square one.

After the werewolf frees all the deer (no, don’t know why he didn’t eat them), Grady tries to lock his mother inside a shed to keep her safe, and we get a series of shots of Grady’s sister sneaking around in the dark with werewolf sounds playing over her. I think they may have also recycled Saber from Camp Nightmare for a few shots. During the attack sequence they can’t seem to make up their mind how wolfed out Will is, but I can possible excuse that as the eclipse taking effect over time.

Sister and Mom end up locked together in a shed. Grady, meanwhile, goes looking for Vandal, who ran off, and for some reason I don’t understand Will as well. When the werewolf is done terrorizing the family he comes after Grady, but gets caught in another net trap, and we get a speech from the Hermit explaining that his family was killed by the werewolf. However, he turns his back while standing right next to the werewolf, and is strongly implied to be killed. You’d think someone who spent years hunting a werewolf would be a bit more careful, but I guess the adult fixing everything wouldn’t be as interesting for the kiddies in the audience.

This is when Will is turned back into a partial human by the eclipse, and tells Grady to run. Grady is an idiot though, and is attacked by the werewolf who...picks him up and shakes him. Then vandal arrives and fights the werewolf, pushes it into the bog at the center of the swamp, which Will had earlier earlier compared to quicksand in an obvious set-up, and the werewolf sinks. It’s probably one of the more overtly violent endings, with a character either drowning onscreen, or (if werewolves are immortal) being trapped potentially forever.

Having seen the creature, Grady’s parents now accept that there was some sort of wolf involved in the attack, rather than Vandal. They’re still insistent, however, that there are no werewolves. Grady, however, is now beginning his transformation into a werewolf, getting nightmares and howling at the moon. An obvious twist, but a fair one for someone attacked by a werewolf. I guess we can just assume shaking is now the manner of curse transfer.

The episode isn’t bad. If you want to relive nostalgia for your childhood, or introduce your children to the show, this would be a decent episode to do it with. The production values are pretty high, the acting isn’t half bad, and it actually leaves some major questions unanswered for us to play around with. Also, you get to see the early days of Brendan Fletcher, later known for his ground breaking role as “the guy in the thing.” Also, he starred in Uwe Boll’s Rampage, and gets points for starring in something by Uwe Boll that was actually enjoyable to watch.

So, yeah. Check it out.

Goosebumps: Episodes 16-17 A Night in Terror Tower

A Night in Terror Tower is the best of the first season. Beyond that, it’s actually so good that it feels as if it came from an entirely different show. The budget is still low, but the discussions are amazingly frank, and the villain truly menacing. In keeping with the requirements of 90s kids’ television the word “death” is never uttered. But, the show has no problem with referring to the villain as the “Lord High Executioner,” or making reference to “execution by beheading.” It’s as if the writers were flipping the censors the bird.

The episode also succeeds in giving us a plot that’s unpredictable, while still holding together fairly well. Unlike most other episodes there’s no sense that the writers were simply treading water until they could release their twist on you, nor that the twist is somehow separate from the rest of the story. There is all one narrative, and it fits together flawlessly.

Sue (Kathryn Short) and her brother Eddie (Corey Sevier) are taking a tour of London that’s dragging them around from museum to museum. They’re both excited when they find out that their tour guide (Peter Messaline) is going to “Terror Tower,” the knock-off of the Tower of London in which the Prince and Princess of York were once imprisoned by their usurper Uncle (an obvious reference to the historical Princes in the Tower).

I feel like I’ve pointed out the obvious plotholes in plenty of previous episodes, so I can’t let my love of this one get in the way: To see if York had ever been independent I checked Wikipedia for “King of York,” and it took me to a list of Kings of Northumbria, one of which was specifically crowned King of York in 918, with their territory being absorbed by England in 954. That said, however, why in God’s name would the Kings of Northumbria have been locking people in a Tower explicitly stated to be located in London! Did they just rent space rather than have their own dungeons?

Sue and Eddie become separated from the tour group, and find themselves chased through the tower by a strange man (Robert Collins) who wants to take them somewhere. Getting away from him, they’re caught by a security guard (Robert Buck), who doesn’t believe they’re being chased, insisting he’s the only person on the property. Escaping him, the two take a cab back to their hotel.

It’s here that they find...they can’t pay the cabbie (Michael Polley). When they make the attempt, he tells them that the money they have isn’t real British currency. Looking for their mother and father, they’re told that the conference their parents are supposed to be attending isn’t at the hotel, and that their room is unoccupied. Then, it dawns on them that they have no memory of anything that happened prior to that day up to and including their own last names. Honestly, more scenes like this could have made Goosebumps a far better show. No bad effects, or poorly-designed monster. Just two kids who are terrified, and for good reason.

At this point a brief chase ensues, with the cabbie searching the hotel for the kids who can’t pay him. You could complain that being arrested by the British police would probably be the best thing that could happen to you if you’re wandering around London with no memory of who you are, but I honestly can chock that up to irresponsible teenagers being idiots. In the kitchen they’re attacked by the strange man again, and suddenly find themselves in the Middle Ages, still being chased by the same man.

When Sue asks a woman to hide her in exchange for the coins she had (which turn out to be gold sovereigns), the woman immediately turns her over. It’s from her that we finally find out that the mysterious man is the Lord High Executioner. I actually think I may have asked my mother what that word meant during the commercial break.

Locked in the Tower, the children encounter an imprisoned sorcerer named Morgred (Diego Matamoros) who finally explains what’s going on. The two main characters are, in fact, the Prince and Princess of York. Morgred, a servant of their late father, had sent them into the future with new memories to save them from execution. He intended to give them completely new memories, and send himself with them, but was interrupted by the Executioner before he could complete the spell, allowing the Executioner to come after them with Morgred’s three magic stones. It’s at this point that that the spell wears off, and they suddenly find themselves in Renfest clothes with British accents (oddly, the Prince of York seems to be aping Cockney).

I may make fun of the sets and costumes, but honestly it’s a huge step up from what this show usually produces. The music, lighting, sets, costumes, and performances are all cheap, but used as effectively as a gourmet chef making a meal of cheap ingredients. You don’t need fancy stuff to make it work.

As it typical, the final confrontation is quick and relies on the momentary incompetence of the villain, but there are much worse cases. Eddie picks the Executioner’s pocket for the stones, throws them to Morgred who begins the spell. Sue trips some hapless guards, and the scene fades out as the Executioner desperately charges at Morgred.

And with that, they’re back in the present day, being berated by their tour guide for wandering off from the group. Morgred appears, introducing himself as their “Guardian.” They finally get the chance to hear the end of the story, being told that the Prince and Princess mysteriously disappeared before their executions could be performed.

The final twist is probably one of the best justified of the first season. Morgred finds that one of his stones is missing, and believes Eddie pick pocketed it. The camera scrolls over, and we see the Executioner holding the final stone. Given that he was charging Morgred just as they were transported to the future, and the stones were balanced on his open palm, this makes perfect sense.

Honestly, I recommend this episode. It’s not just better than most Goosebumps, it’s legitimately better than many of the movies I’ve reviewed. It’s scary, and if you want to raise a horror-buff child it’s the perfect introduction.

Goosebumps: Episodes 12-13 Stay Out of the Basement

Stay Out of the Basement, more than any other episode of Goosebumps I’ve seen to date, knows exactly what it is. It’s a goofy throw-back to the silly science fiction of the 1950’s, and it is glorious in its stupidity. I can just see the creators laughing over this script. They even included the line “I think Dad is a mad scientist.”

The premise is that Margaret and Casey (Beki Lantos and Blake McGrath) are being left with their botanist father (Judah Katz) while their mother (Lucy Peacock) is away caring for her sick sister. Their father, however, has been isolated of late, working on some project intended to regain his recently terminated post at the local University.

However, as soon as their mother is away the two go down into the basement, and their father runs up behind them screaming the episode title. Apparently he feels that what’s down in the basement is dangerous, and wants the two to stay away. While the idea of a scientist not allowing his kids into his laboratory is actually far more believable than the insane behavior of most Hollywood science (looking at you new Ninja Turtles franchise), this is easily the last moment of the story that isn’t downright absurd.

The children begin to grow suspicious of their father when Margaret sees him eating plant food, and catches a glimpse of him in the bathroom, having taken off his hat to reveal leaves growing from his head, and was washing off a cut that was bleeding green. To allay their suspicions, their father begins attempting to spend more time with them.

He first explains to this that he’s working on an animal/plant hybrid. This was the scene that convinced me the episode was being intentionally stupid. The process is described as “putting animals cells in a plant.” I really doubt the writers were unfamiliar with the concept of DNA in the 90s.

He also attempts to force them to eat a weird green slop for breakfast. This is treated as insidious in some unspecified way. Even having watched the episode twice I’m not clear on whether or not they would have been harmed by eating it, or if it was just a sign that he failed to recognize the slop as unappetizing to normal humans.

When a family friend from the University (Hrant Alianak) disappears after going down in the basement (the two never saw him leave), they venture down into the basement, which they find now resembles a rainforest, and has plants that can reach out and grab them. I’m not sure exactly how many times the two of them slipped down into the basement over the course of the episode, but it was enough to rob their final descent of any tension, as we already knew more-or-less what was down there.

On their final trip down they discover...their actual father! He explains that some of his blood had mixed with an experiment, resulting in a plant that looked exactly like him, and who was planning to replace humanity with plant copies! Honestly, the reveal wouldn’t have been that far out of place in a black-and-white sci-fi film in the middle of the 20^th century, and here it had me nearly rolling on the floor. If every Goosebumps episode was made this perfectly in imitation of old horror films I would have flown through this season.

The climax is the single goofiest example of “who do I shoot!” I’ve ever seen. Margaret has to decide which “father” to spray with weed killer. Apparently “spray them both and call the Toxin Helpline to see if their real father needs to go to the hospital for skin contact or not” didn’t occur to her, and instead she has to guess from her father calling her “Princess.” Naturally, only he would know to call her this, not the plant copy who as far as we can tell has all of his memories (I mean, it’s not like he had to ask their names or learn English).

Even if you’re not interested in Goosebumps, I’d say check this episode out. It’s fun, and you’re sure to get a few laughs out of it. I don’t remember if it scared me as a kid, but my reaction as an adult is more than enough reason to justify its existence.

Goosebumps: Episode 8 Piano Lessons Can be Murder

I'm hoping that I'll eventually encounter an individual Goosebumps episode that wouldn't have worked better as a two-parter. Unfortunately, that seems unlikely when they're boiling down a 100-page book to just 20-minutes. Piano Lessons Can be Murder certainly fits into that category, as it tries to combine both a ghost and evil robots into a single story.

That said, however, I'm really not sure that this is a story that deserved two parts. It isn't horrible in concept, but it's also less memorable than you'd expect for such a story. I can safely say that I would sacrifice this episode for a second half of The Phantom of the Auditorium.

Jerry (Ben Cook), a kid with few friends and a big imagination moves into a new house with a piano in the basement. Jerry develops a crush on a local girl named Kim (Erica Luttrell, kudos for the interracial romance) with an interest in music, and decides that he wants to learn to play to impress her. However, the Ghost of a former music teacher who lived in his house (Brenda Devine) warns him to “stay away” from the Shreek School, where he gets his parents to sign him up for piano lessons.

Dr. Shreek (Aron Tager) is a strange man, with a weird obsession with hands, who employs a maintenance main named Mr. Toggle (Geza Kovacs). Eventually, Dr. Shreek tries to take Jerry's hands, only to be shut off by Mr Toggle, who as it turns out is a robotics genius who built Dr. Shreek and various other piano-playing robots...and Mr. Toggle then tries to take his hands because robotic hands are hard to build. However, the ghost comes, revealing that Toggle had been a student of hers (she claims he was lazy, he claims she was too demanding), and for attacking Jerry the teacher traps Toggle in the school and forces him to practice for all eternity. Jerry gives up on the piano.

I run through the plot quickly to make my point: All of this material might have worked if there was proper time for build-up. Most of the actors are pretty good, and Jerry is one of the more memorable protagonists from this show. Rather than being a bland everykid, he constantly narrates imaginary adventures the instant he's out of earshot of an adult (and sometimes within).

However, the characters other than Jerry seem to get only two, perhaps three scenes. Dr. Shreek gets one scene teaching Jerry the piano, and throwing in a comment about how his own hands don't “work like they used to” as blatant foreshadowing, and a scene of him going crazy. Mr Toggle, likewise, gets his introduction where he shows off his robotic floor sweeper, and says that he “programmed” Shreek to call him a genius, the scene of his own breakdown, and the final scene of him being forced to play.

Most notably, Kim gets her introduction, and then returns at the end of the episode. Apparently it would be too much to remind the audience of why Jerry wanted to take piano lessons in the first place. If she couldn't be worked into the story, then her presence probably wasn't necessary. It's not like parents have ever needed a reason to put a kid with minor problems in piano lessons.

The ghost is the one element that does work. I'm not sure if it's the repeat appearances throughout the episode, or just the actress, but whenever she's onscreen warning Jerry that he's in danger I feel the tension. The ghost is also fairly unique, neither falling into the cliches of the harmless, helpful ghost, nor the purely wrathful. She clearly has a moral compass, and cares about Jerry even as a boy with no particular connection to her. Her motivations remains surprisingly human.

That said, it's clear you don't want to get on her bad side. She's a strict disciplinarian, and is apparently prepared to stay with Toggle forever to make sure he's suitably punished. I’m not sure of the creative process that went into this spirit, and I kind of suspect it was a simple “we need to make the ghost scary,” but what we got by design or accident was good.

The revelation that Toggle was the true villain worked, but having him shut down Shreek ruined the whole effect. Either Shreek should be working for him at the end, or Toggle should have motivations at least slightly different from those of his creation. As it plays now, the scene is awkward. They basically took one villain out of the story to replace him with another, effectively identical villain.

Even so, they were good villains. This is hardly the only time this series gave pedophillic undertones to it's villains (hell, it’s more rare for the villains not to have them), but the decision to have them obsessed with a young boy's body-part seems like the kind of thing the studio would likely forbid today. It’s legitimately unsettling.

More than one source on the internet have noted that this is the rare episode without a twist ending. That seems to be more-or-less true. The revelation of Toggle's punishment was, according to the Goosebumps Wiki, not in the book, but it's not really surprising once he was taken by a piano teacher. Ironically, it still managed to be more frightening than many of the actual twists. Playing piano for the rest of eternity, kept alive by magical forces? Or continuing as a ghost? Not a way I’d like to spend my time.

I don't exactly recommend the episode. It has all the parts for several good stories, but it's nothing special in and of itself. It seems like a waste of a lot of talent, and a number of good ideas.