Masters of Horror: Episode 1 Incident On and Off A Mountain Road

It's been years since I've watched Masters of Horror.. I enjoyed the show greatly back in college, even though I recall the episodes varying wildly in quality. I remember suspecting that some of the directors might have felt validated by simply being on the show and acknowledged as a Master, which could explain the abundance of talent, but lack of effort, some of the episodes seem to have.

This description fits Incident On and Off a Mountain Road like a glove. Don Coscarelli is an awesome director, and every single scene is well shot and well acted, but there isn't a lot to really set the episode apart. The set-up is that a woman named Ellen (Bree Turner) is in a car crash on the titular mountain road, set up by a serial killer credited as “Moonface” (John DeSantis), who then chases her around the woods until he captures her and takes her to his killing room.

Moonface is not an especially interesting killer. He's a deformed albino, and I'm not sure if he's incapable of speech, or just not interested in talking. He also has an overly-elaborate eye-gouging machine to kill his victims with, which just feels out of place for a killer who lives in the middle of the woods. He's pure Other, and I really wish they'd kept him simple. A big, strong, brutish killer would have been sufficient, especially lacking any backstory.

The episode is inter cut with flashbacks to Ellen's relationship with her husband Bruce (Ethan Embry). Bruce was a survivalist who became became increasingly disturbed over the course of their marriage. However, he also taught Ellen survival skills that assist her in combating Moonface. These scenes aren't bad, but they would be better if Ellen was a more effective protagonist.

Ellen is so ineffective against Moon Face until the very end of the episode that she still comes across like every other Final Girl in horror history, suddenly kicking ass once the story was ready to end. In fact, Ellen's main success is building a trap that captures another woman fleeing Moonface (Heather Feeney), and stabbing herself in the arm. Are we supposed to simply be impressed she was able to build the traps, even though they backfired? I know I couldn't do it, but I'm not supposed to be a badass horror protagonist.

The episode also throws in a twist: Ellen killed Bruce after he raped her, and was on her way to dispose of his body. She drills his eyes out and crucifies him, copying the killing style of Moonface to give the impression that he was another victim. This isn't really much of a twist, though. It's a story about an abusive husband in a horror anthology, how else would it end?

The episode's highlight is Buddy (Angus Scrimm), Moonface's long-term captive, who has become a gibbering lunatic. It's awesome to see Angus Scrimm being scary in a role that's the complete opposite of his quiet, reserved Tall Man. Buddy would actually have been a much more interesting villain for the episode. He's over-the-top and insane, with motivations that make no sense. In the conflict between Ellen and Moonface he seems to somehow be on both sides, helping Ellen to get free, then calling Moonface to tell him she's loose. My best guess is he simply wanted to escalate the conflict further. It's a shame he never gets to be more directly threatening.

The episode isn't “bad,” but for a series premiere, it's pretty weak. I'm actually kind of baffled that show runner Mick Garris looked at this episode, and said “I want this to be people's first introduction to our show!” As a standalone, though, I can take it or leave it.