Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark is a movie that couldn’t be made today. Nothing about it is calculated or planned, and often times the scenes don’t even seem to fit together. We go from outright spoof to feigned drama scene-to-scene. The actors often seem to think they’re in totally different movies.

That isn’t to bash our current crop of movies. I think the 2010s will be well-remembered for producing some truly great art. However, all of that art is very meticulous. Studios often know exactly what they’ll be making years in advance, and put all the necessary preparations. With films of the 80s, however, there’s a real sense that much of the plot was probably made up on the fly.

I’m not sure how much of it truly was, however, as the film was clearly fueled by the meta-joke that a horror host is suddenly stuck in the same kind of bad films she normally hosts. The style with which this comedy is delivered is a bit hard to explain. On the one hand, no one can claim that Cassandra Peterson is playing her role as Elvira straight. However, she also avoids the modern spoof tendency to wink too blatantly at the audience. This is a story that makes logical sense within an illogical universe.

Elvira, leaving her television series, needs money to finance her new Vegas show. At just the right time, she receives notice of an inheritance from an unknown aunt. Traveling to collect, Elvira finds herself in a puritanical town surrounded by Conservatives horrified by her manners of speech, dress, and behavior. Elvira, being herself, does nothing to alleviate their concerns, generally acting like some combination of a bratty child, and an obnoxious teenager.

The first half of the film is largely a comedy about the town, while the second turns into a supernatural story as Elvira discovers that her aunt was a witch, and the powers have passed onto her. It’s also worth noting that the backstory makes no sense, an aspect which I suspect was intentional. There are also plenty of scenes that just sort of happen, without advancing the plot at all.

The sexual politics are firmly rooted in the 80s, with parts of the movie dealing with Elvira as an object of teenaged fantasy. The other actors all seem to be generally aware that they’re in a comedy, but not one quite as blatant as the tone Elvira is going for, and this allows her to fully take center stage. If she has any competition at all it comes from her Great Uncle Vincent (W. Morgan Sheppard), who seems to be channeling the age of Universal Horror with his evil schemes to use their family’s magic to bring about the end of days. Daniel Greene gets his job done as the love interest, although Edie McClurge is a little too on-point as “Chastity Pariah,” the local leader who tries to turn the town against Elvira.

The last fifteen minutes or so somehow become even more insane that the rest of the film. Elvira not only gets magical powers, but a rocket launcher, to duke it out with her uncle. Somehow the movie maintains a dramatic level of tension in spite of this.

It isn’t easy to summarize this movie, because so many scenes are just a series of jokes. Suffice it to say, it’s worth checking out. Highly recommended for parents with kids who are just crossing the threshold into more mature content.