Friday, November 24, 2017

Are You Afraid of the Dark: The Tale of the Phantom Cab



I was a little worried going into Are You Afraid of the Dark.  I’d been disappointed by the first season of Goosebumps, and was afraid this show would prove equally disappointing.  I’d re-watched a few episodes sporadically in the last few years, however, and was hopeful.  Still, I wasn’t completely convinced that I hadn’t simply caught the better ones.

That said, I was quite happy with what I got in this first episode.  While there are still issues with the child actors, there’s plenty else to make up for it.  The story, unlike most Goosebumps episodes, was clearly written to be easy to tell in a 30-minute children’s show with a limited budget, with only the most basic special effects.  The music is awesome, and the story seems like something kids would tell scare each other, if dragged out a bit longer than the scary stories other kids told me as a child.

The premise, for anyone who wasn’t a 90s kid, is that a group of kids called “The Midnight Society” hold meetings out in the woods where they tell scary stories.  This first episode shows the initiation of a new member, Frank (Jason Alisharan), who must tell a story good enough to earn a unanimous vote, before he will be allowed to join.
Even in the frame story, this is one of those shows that pretends kids have some great freedom of movement.  Frank was brought to the middle of the woods blindfolded, because he can’t be allowed to know where they meet until he’s a member.  If they’re far enough out to be hidden, I seriously doubt any of these kids are old enough to get there without being driven by parents.

I don’t say this as a negative.  I know one of the major appeals of this show to lonely kids was the idea of a group of friends, who spend time together consistently, and who I had a secret place to meet.  You could probably explain away Frank’s situation by saying that his sponsor’s Mom drove them together, rolling her eyes at the blindfold the whole way, but that’s not the point.  This show is fantasies within a fantasy.

Appropriately for Frank’s initiation, he tells story about proving yourself.  The story we get is about two brothers named Buzz and Denny (Sean Ryan and Jason Tremblay) who go for a hike.  Buzz is hoping to use the trip as a chance to impress his older brother.  The two actors are both the weakest part of this episode, and I get the distinct feeling the people who did the casting decided to keep the kids who were able to avoid telegraphing every line for the ongoing frame-story, and stick whoever else they could find in as the one-off characters.

The two brother send up lost in the woods because Buzz was trusted with the compass, and repeatedly held it too close to his metal belt-buckle.  I’m not sure if a random piece of unmagnetized metal would affect a compass that easily, but it does seem like the kind of “lost in the woods” idea a kid excited to apply the knowledge he gained studying for his Science test to story-telling would come up with.

As it starts to get dark and cold the two meet a friendly man named Flynn (Brian Dooley).  The man gives evasive answers to every question they ask, refusing to directly say if he’s lost, why he’s in the woods, or if he’ll help them.  Instead he says only that he’ll take them to “someone who can help them” who he refers to as “the Good Doctor.”

The Doctor is Doctor Vink (Aron Tager), a recurring character featured in Frank’s later stories.  In this story, he lives in a small cottage in the middle of the woods, and upon their arrival Flynn mysteriously disappears, giving the brothers no choice but to approach the house, and the Doctor emerges to seduce them inside.

There’s a good reason Vink kept appearing in this show: he’s an awesome character.  He’s theoretically a scientist, but much of what he does seems outright magical.  Personally, I’m inclined to put him into the category of an alchemist, mixed with a good portion of a classic trickster.  He’s an old man, but constantly full of energy and spirit.  I feel almost like I should justify not calling him a pedophile, when he lures kids into a cabin and offers them tea while getting up close and personal, but I almost feel like Vink is too insane for such desires to even register for him.  He seems far more interested in gaining “specimens” for his experiments.

Also, he doesn’t like being called a “nutbag.”

Being on cable had the added advantage of letting the show get away with far more than Goosebumps ever could, and Vink happily shows the kids the brain of a boar (which is obviously just raw chicken, but let’s pretend), and a human hand preserved in formaldehyde.   Denny, as the practical brother, is absolutely repelled by the Doctor, while Buzz seems to be at least somewhat fascinated.

Vink, seemingly disinterested in their problems, starts a game of riddles with Buzz in exchange for access to his phone (which he’s prepared to disable with a pair of hedge clippers).  The riddles are old, but this was the 90s, before a quick Google search would have given the writers all the brain-busters they could ever want.

The riddle that stumps Buzz is “What is it that has no weight, can be seen by the naked eye, and if you put it in a barrel it will make the barrel lighter?”  (I’m sure all the kids at home who got it were proud when we cut back to the Midnight Society debating if the riddle was solvable.)  Losing the game, the two must leave.  However, the Doctor helpfully informs them that a cab drives through the woods every night, and will be by shortly.  The brothers are incredulous, but decide to wait anyway, having no other options.

Naturally, the cab shows up, old and worn and driven by Flynn.   At this point the episode goes from simply being creepy to being downright terrifying, as we go into the territory of urban horror stories.  Once inside the cab the boys find that Flynn is no longer as evasive as he had been.  Forty years ago, Vink offered Flynn a big tip if he could solve a riddle, and Flynn failed.  After losing, Flynn died in a crash (not stated, but implied to be caused by Vink), and is not forced to relive the crash over and over again with those who can’t answer Vink’s riddles.  Before the crash, Flynn gives them one more chance to answer the riddle.

I’m not quite sure how to interpret Flynn.  Despite telling them that he wants them to succeed and break his curse, he remains chipper throughout, even talking about the car exploding like it’s a fascinating event they need to see.  Perhaps as a ghost he maintains the happy demeanor of a cab driver providing a service, perhaps Vink forces him to act in such a manner, or maybe he’s just jaded after forty years and trying to stay positive.

Naturally, Buzz figures it out in the nick of time, the cab disappears, and the two are picked up by a park ranger (Tedd Dillon).  We’re told in voice-over that all that could be found of the cabin was a stone foundation, planting that hint that some time travel was involved.  Frank is voted in, and the credits roll.

This episode gives you pretty much exactly what you’d want: a ghost story about kids, tailor made for its format, and with a memorable villain.  Honestly, going through this show, I can only hope this quality is maintained.

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